win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
