Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
