god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
