Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
