I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize