I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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