Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
