If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
