Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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