i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
