Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
