I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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