I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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