I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she pinky promised me she was 18
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
