he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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