even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
