So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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