then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
