Your tits are I can't wait for
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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