Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
