The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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