I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
