Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Randomize
