You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
