we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
