hell yes lets make some ravioli
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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