So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Just pee around me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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