Already got asked if we're dating
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
