I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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