So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
