My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
