He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
