Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize