We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
