You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
