Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just made my gag reflex go away.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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