I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i dont even know how to be here
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
