She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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