Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
