Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
