Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
