I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Please don't give away my fajitas
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
