is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
