I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
