So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
