I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
