you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
