I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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