Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
