she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
