I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
