Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
