It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Boobs speak an international language.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
