you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
this hospital has no fireball
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
