She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize