You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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