its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
