I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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