Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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