ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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