Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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