what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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